Those of you who know me, know that I am a self help junkie. I always have a book or two in my car about motivation, personal finance, real estate or leadership. Well my most recent book is "The Richest Man Who Ever Lived -King Solomon's Secrets To Success, Wealth, And Happiness." by Steven Scott.
Last night I read a chapter on Conflict. After finishing one particular section it made me think about my life and the problems I have encountered. Every day we are faced with conflict. Some of us are well apt to deal with it and others are not. Once thing I have noticed about conflict is that it comes in all different forms. Sometimes it is big, sometimes it is small. There are some days conflict is around every corner. One thing is for certain. Conflict will always be in our life. But the good thing is we can control it's outcome. I know that is easier said than done. Especially when you are having one of those days when you run into one conflict after another. At a point you just want to give up and say enough is enough. But if we pursue doing the right thing, conflict seams to work itself out a lot of the time good things come of it.
Here is a section from the chapter I like a lot:
There are two kinds of conflict and adversity. The first is conflict and adversity that we create or contribute to. The second is conflict and adversity that is created by others or by circumstances outside of our influence or control. Let's look first at conflict and adversity that is created outside of our influence or control.
My grandfather was a mining engineer in the early 1900's. When I was in first grade, my father came home from a visit with his sister in a mining community in Arizona. Whenever dad came home from a trip, he brought my sister and me a little surprise. On this occasion, he pulled a little bag out of his suitcase and poured out a handful of ugly rocks onto our kitchen table. I was tremendously disappointed. They didn't look any different from the stones in our backyard. Then he told me what each one contained. "This one has gold in it, this one has silver, and this one has copper," he said. I asked him why they weren’t shiny and why I couldn't see the gold, silver or copper. He replied, "They haven't been through the fire yet." He explained that they had to be placed in a very hot fire, hotter than I had ever seen; only the fire could separate the beautiful metals from the rock around it.
According to Solomon, there is an extraordinary purpose to the type of adversity or conflict that comes into our lives. That is beyond our control. That purpose is to melt away the outer crust of common rock that surrounds our souls and hears and produce, refine and reveal the character within. Exceptional attributes emerge that cannot be developed by any other means. Like the refining process of gold or silver, the result of this is that we become much stronger emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Rocks containing minute quantities of gold are worth a few dollars per ton. Refined gold is worth hundreds of dollars per ounce. Similarly, conflict and adversity are the smelting processes that can create or refine our true character and all the powerful attributes that attend such character: patience, compassion, kindness, courage, faith, perseverance, loyalty, integrity, and love. So rather than being angered, discouraged, or resentful of adversity and conflict, we should embrace them for the benefits and opportunities they provide. For without the fires of adversity and conflict, there is no refining process for our character or heart.
So each time we encounter adversity, we have a choice to make. Either we can give in to it and become discouraged and angry, or we can choose to be patient and look to the long-term benefits that may result. Whether we make a conscious choice or choose by default, the choice is ours nonetheless. Choosing the first path will make us bitter and guarantee our sense of loss; choosing the latter will make us better and stronger.
However, most of the conflict and much of the adversity that we experience is a direct result of our actions. During the last twenty years of my father's life, he had heart surgery three times. At the age of seventy-nine, after a seven-month battle with lung cancer, he died. His heart surgeries and his cancer produced tremendous suffering for him and for me. But his heart disease and his cancer were fueled by his lifelong habit of smoking.
When I was fired from my third job, my disloyalty to my boss was a major factor. And most of the arguments I have had with others, I either started or fueled.
Next time conflict and adversity arrive in your life, realize that you are being put through the firing process. Knowing that in the end you will come out a better person. Please feel free to send me or post your comments.
Joe Leksich
Your Realtor